Does knowing I have Asperberger’s make a difference?

I may or may not write up a vent on my current problem.  I like to use this blog more for looking at the Big Picture.

The Big Picture is that in a situation like this, the worst part is usually that I’m so mad at myself.  I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it in words like this, but if I had it would go something like “If only I were better with people.  If only I weren’t such a wimp I would have asked the right questions, and nagged, and if people liked me, they would answer my questions and do what they say they’ll do and then this wouldn’t be happening.”

This time, I think I did everything I could reasonably do.  I tried to find out what needed to be done and who was doing it.  When the information I was getting wasn’t worth the effort it took to get, I tried to narrow my focus to just the essential questions.  Specifically, I tried “Is there anything else I need to do?”  I never got an answer to that one, either. I made a conscious decision then to avoid stress by giving up and hoping it would work out, figuring I’d find out eventually and odds were good that any problems would be minor and repairable.  I was able to do that because I’ve come to realize that this Social Stuff is more difficult for me than it is for most people, and that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a coward.  I’ve got to play the cards I’m dealt as best I can.

Although things are messed up that wouldn’t have been if I could have gotten answers to my questions earlier, I don’t think I did anything wrong.  If I can’t make people like me, if I can’t figure out how to communicate with them, it’s not because I haven’t tried.  I’m not sure it’s because of AS, but that would explain it.  I am pretty sure it’s something different about the way my brain is wired.  And it’s not unreasonable to expect people to do what I pay them to do, even if they don’t like me.  Not even if they have really good reasons to not like me.  Although I don’t think they do.  Really, I’m much less annoying than Sheldon, even at my worst.  If anything, I’m being too polite to people I have good reason to be mad at.

I don’t think it’s going to cost any extra money to fix this, it’s just an expense I didn’t know about earlier.  It might not even be a delay, but if it is, it’s just one more, in a long series.  It actually would make it kind of neat, in a way, for it to be just about a year from when I started house hunting to when I get to move in.

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